Opinion - Fly-Tipper Armageddon & The Government’s Obsession With Pointless Pacifying Policies
Despite the ever-growing list of issues plaguing Britain, there has been a rise in government policies that aim to distract voters by targeting low-hanging fruit, rather than addressing real problems.
History is filled with great proclamations. Speeches that bring a tear to your eye and fuel such a deep, primal sense of passion that you can’t help but envy those who would have heard it live. Churchill, King, Mandela, and now, Starmer. Their speeches impacted not only the world around them, but will go on to inspire generations still to come, an oratory impact hard to put into those very same words. For years in Britain, we have longed for another one of those speeches, delivered by a great figure whose prose could unite a divided nation. Whose wisdom and guidance could settle our rapidly deteriorating sense of belonging, and remind us of what it means to be British, and more importantly, what it means to be human. And then, just as we needed it most, it happened. A proclamation so powerful that our nation stood still. You will always remember where you were when you read those powerful and enigmatic words. ‘This is a message to the fly-tippers’.
For those who may be unfamiliar with this great work, Keir Starmer recently announced, via that most hallowed communication medium, X, that the end is nigh for anyone engaging in fly-tipping. He has claimed that for too long they have gone unpunished, and now, thanks to cutting-edge technology, their days are numbered. Previous attempts at prevention have likely proven ineffective given the advanced anti-detection measures taken by seasoned fly-tippers. A combination of signal jamming, radar-absorbing coatings applied to discarded mattresses, and counter-surveillance drones, has been a staple of a fly-tippers arsenal. Despite Britain's near £54bn defence budget, these highly sophisticated techniques have made any attempts to stop this rural domestic terrorism totally futile. But that era of free rein has come to an abrupt end, with Starmer planning to deploy drones and other ‘new tech’, likely unnamed due to its confidential nature, to identify fly-tippers and crush their vehicles. There hasn’t yet been any comment on whether the offending fly-tippers will still be in their vehicle at the time of crushing, so we will likely have to wait until WikiLeaks release the footage to know for sure.
I am, of course, joking about all elements of this announcement, other than the sad reality that this was a real X post from our Prime Minister. His passion and commitment to the cause are at odds with the importance of the issue he is targeting. There is a near-endless list of other issues currently plaguing our society that are having very real consequences for a large proportion of the populace, yet it is this fringe concern that has drawn his attention. Before I am accosted by victims of fly-tipping whose gardens now resemble a Sort-It centre, I completely agree that it is a real issue, and something that should be addressed. However, the fact that this is being used as a vote-gaining policy, ahead of local elections, reveals a very sorry state of affairs. This is a problem that should have been dealt with by local councils many years ago, and our national leadership should instead be focused on the exhaustive list of pressing issues currently impacting Britain.
This is a policy ploy that has been growing in popularity recently, where attention is diverted towards fringe issues, allowing the government to focus all of their efforts on solving a problem that many are totally unconcerned by. This creates an illusion of activity, allowing ministers to claim great feats of governmental achievement while distracting from the foundational issues still being ignored. Why spend time trying to fix the housing crisis, sluggish growth, elevated living costs, or immigration concerns, when instead you can claim success from crushing the car of someone who left a discarded kettle in a layby. There is this belief in Whitehall that all policies are created equal, and that the general public can be appeased just as easily by a niche policy announcement as by a national act of strong governance. This is why manifestos are jammed full of totally innocuous mini-legislation that has basically zero real-world impact, but can still be used for marketing and positive PR generation.
These can also be used as brilliant ammunition against complaints of inactivity, as how could the government possibly be doing nothing, when they have just announced a ground-breaking mini-policy. Forget the housing crisis, every phone box is now going to be turned into a public mindfulness studio. Don’t worry about immigration, haven’t you heard, the government has announced that everyone will be issued their own plastic bag to be used when shopping. The NHS may well be under-resourced and in desperate need of funding, but the government has just announced that your GP can prescribe 2-for-1 cinema tickets on a Wednesday to combat the loneliness epidemic.
It is this cycle of pacifying policies that has facilitated the foundational problems within our country going unaddressed, while also allowing politicians to remain blame-free for inactivity. As long as these headline-friendly announcements continue to distract voters from the reality, they will remain a tool to obfuscate blame. We need a return to common-sense legislation that is willing to tackle big problems, without fear of media criticism or voter loss. This cycle of short-termism and a focus on constituency vote retention only worsens the issue, allowing the truly damaging forces to continue metastasising until they are too large to address. Yes, hunting fly-tippers with drones does sound entertaining, and probably something I would quite like to do myself, however, it should not be the focus of senior government, and should not be announced like the beginning of D-Day.
